The heart versus the head. Did I just bloody buy that? The Murphy’s law when it comes to shopping. The Sod’s law kicking into action when you go Christmas shopping. Oh my god, it’s absolutely gorgeous. The pounding of your excited heart as it grasps a true wish-list beauty versus the heavy sigh as you unfold the credit card bill that is far from beautiful. This would be the monthly Visa statement bill that only lists two trips to the grocery store and the rest resembling the advertisment roll of a Vogue September issue?!?
The Murphy’s law when it comes to shopping
This would be that pesky little law that sends shivers down a shopaholic’s visa bill! So you pop to the shops for some milk or maybe it’s a mission for a kids birthday gift for the birthday party your little one is heading to that afternoon? Maybe you went off in search of envelopes or some lip balm.The question is, do you come back with just those items? The answer is a very clear “Hell No”! as you come home with a new coat or an amazing dress that you don’t know when you’ll wear it – but it is perfect for that anonymous occasion you’ve been thinking about apparently! Wtf?
Surely I’m not alone in this shopping world. I can’t believe I’m the only one who did that classic thing last weekend. I sneak a quick child-free hour and pop into Winners (Canadian version of TKMaxx) to pick up some organic face scrub and some lovely posh gift wrap for a wedding gift. Low and behold, do I solely venture out with those? No! Instead I also come out with a bloody Kate Spade bag!! #imbloodyridiculous
The item in question
It was love at first sight. In my defence, the natural organic skincare section is right beside the bag section. It was never my intention to even peek at the bags. I don’t need one. I’m happy with the collection I have now. In fact, I even have a little ‘to sell’ pile of bags ready for eBay. So why I even turned to see a lady examining a little black beauty from the corner of my eye, God only knows?? Alas, I did. So curious to get a closer look but without alerting her to the fact that she is in sole possession of a gem (don’t want her to know she’s onto a good thing, she maybe tempted to buy the bag I clearly cannot afford!!). I patiently wait and pick up random ‘ratty tat’ bags hanging from the rails. As soon as I sense she has put it down on the shelf to pick up another bag, I’m like a great white shark sniffing at a drop of blood in the sea. I’m stealthily and silently moving in to claim the leather bag. I even did that ridiculous ‘first prize’ shopper move, the one where you shuffle away to another section in the bag department to ensure she doesn’t run after you claiming she spotted it first. Sad but true, bitter past experiences that require ‘bag therapy’ have taught me this!! So now in another aisle, I’m taking cleansing yoga breaths as my nervy hands are clutching the black Kate Spade Bobi cross body bag.
My heart was pounding ten to the dozen. Instant love and admiration for the Kate Spade pebbled leather Bobi bag. So bloody adorable, cute, posh and…….in my hands! Instantly my ‘justification’ shopping brain goes into overdrive firing out sparkly arrows with only reasons of why I should buy it.
✔️The classic, timeless, cross body, black little bag
✔️Beautiful black leather with contrasting simple gold lettering
✔️Lovely little shape that’s different to the others out there
✔️Small bag but big enough to to fit in more than just a lipstick, tampon and credit card
✔️It’s a capsule wardrobe, slow fashion, contender that I truly think I would use for years
✔️I’m always thinking I need a small cross body. One that frees my hands up to rummage through things in shops or hold a gorgeous little hand when walking out of the shop.
The ‘Out-of-Body experience’ purchase
Do I put it back? Do I ask them to keep is aside whilst I ponder thoughtfully: if this is indeed a wise purchase? Being a shopaholic, it’s my duty to know every store’s return policy inside out! I know that with my TJMaxx loyalty card, this baby can come home with me for up to 30 days and still be returned with tags intact for a full refund. It’s like I’m having an out-of-body experience, my legs are walking briskly to the cash desk. I say to myself that if there is a line up of people then I will take it as a sign and not buy the bag. Is there a queue? Four people in line, I then say to myself that it takes 5 people to constitute a proper queue and that I should just join them!!! Now, thankfully this line of people waiting reminds me of why I’m bloody there in the first place and I select some gorgeous gift wrap on display by the cash registers.
When its my turn to pay, I head over to the lovely lady on the till. Instantly she “oohs and ahhs” over the bag! I tell her that I’m absolutely ridiculous and that it’s better that I hand over the Visa card and pretend this never happened! This instantly bonds us, as we then begin to share our shopaholic stories of past and present. I take great comfort that this amazing woman actually has a full wardrobe closet at home that she locks and forbids her husband to even look into!! She declares its her shopping cupboard and happily admits that there is no hope for her shopping abilities. I declare that I blame my extremely expensive taste for the trouble I get myself into but at least I bloody admit it and I justify it with “I love a bargain”. The deed is done. Kate Spade is coming home with me – for now – at least until I’ve really thought about it sensibly. I now have a new BFF at Winners, who quite frankly makes me look more than bloody angelic. Big love goes out to Doreen!! Now homeward bound for the next shopaholic step.
A moment of silence for all those items left at the cash desk
I’m sure no one reading this is expecting me to have ever left items at the cash desk. These are the items that people have held onto during their time in the line up at the cash and then once it’s their turn to be pay then they have seen the light and left the items with the sales associate. I have very wise friends who do this. I have participated in this action, in a roundabout manner. I’m the one who will ask the associate “did someone just leave that here? It’s lovely, can I take it? I may not be leaving the items exactly but I am truly supporting their wise shopping decisions by buying the item in question after them!!!!!
The home and hide
They say “out of sight, out of mind”. I say “hide it in the bloody cupboard and pretend that didn’t just come home with me”! I personally blame/thank the extensive refund policies out there in the land of shops, for the majority of ‘Murphys shopping law’ purchases. You see the whole purpose of the ‘home and hide’ routine is that I mentally have a certain allotted time to sit down and think about if I should keep the item in question and how I am going to pay for it. The Kate Spade Bobi has granted me 30 days to come to any form of sense in regards to whether I actually need this bag in my life and also possibly gather the eBay selling funds to lure it out of the cupboard without wearing a t shirt emblazoned “guilty shopper”!!
The drink and think
Maybe it’s a Tea or maybe it’s a G&T? But any Murphys shopping law purchase is worthy of its very own drink and think moment! This is when I sit and draw up a list (love writing a good list!!) of the pros and cons of the item. I have a set number of questions and factors that I use to help me come to my senses. After all, in the past, the Murphy’s law purchase have sometimes without a doubt been the best ones and mean much more to me than the planned shop items. They have also been the ones that I should have gracefully given Doreen to store in her locked cupboard!
Possibly, as I look at these helping-hand checklists, I realize that I’m actually quite ridiculous. But then again, I have faith that there are other shopaholic’s out there who may be able to relate to my crazy lists.
The silly or the sensible
I’m just throwing this out there, as I feel quite strongly about being silly versus sensible. My style can be quite monochromatic. I clearly love a good stripe, denim, a bit of leather, a bit of black, some texture and anything a little bit different. I am slowly learning over the years that the things I truly love and adore are often the items that I bought that were just a little bit silly. I’m thinking now that life is too short for another black sweater. I recall shopping and looking for a nice black cashmere sweater to give my black J.Crew Tipi a day of rest. Did I find one? No, I left with a cashmere Zoe Karssen cream tank with a bat on it. Far from what I set out for but love this tank top and receive many compliments every time I wear it. I feel ‘silly’ wins the day. That is just me.
Is that your final answer? Use a lifeline? Phone a friend?
Who wants to be a millionaire (yes, I do!!! But not realistic) or rather who wants to keep the Kate spade bag?? (Yes, I do!! Still not so realistic).
So you’ve bought something you adore when you just popped out for milk. You know there is no strong reason for why it came home with you. You hid it in a cupboard to give you some time to drink and think. Your list of real reasons are valid for keeping it and your love for it is exceptional. You have visited the cupboard daily claiming “I don’t need this, do I?” Then it’s instant love again at a mere glimpse of it!! So when you’ve exhausted all rationalisation procedures the next step is to use a lifeline. Call a friend. Choose a good one who will be honest with you and knows your style well. Get their opinion and add that to the cooking pot of thoughts.
Whatever happened to baby Kate?
Well, at the moment I have 10 days left on the return option. I take it out of the cupboard daily to declare a “no” but end up shouting “but it’s so bloody lovely”! I scribbled out a heart vs head list and it’s in the bag’s favour, not the credit card’s. I set out to list some stuff on eBay and have sold a French connection dress that I won’t ever wear, a pair of J.Brand jeans that are too big and have a bid on a Madewell jacket. If the jacket sells, then Kate is staying. It’s all ridiculous & exhausting but highly amusing to my friends and ensures my life never has a dull moment. Long live the shopaholic, Doreen would be proud!
Wearing: All Saints Hendricks camel coat (3 years old), black Marks & spencer jumper (12 years old), Gap 1969 distressed boyfriend jeans (2 years old), Gap leopard pony hair belt (8 years old) Zara leopard ankle boots (this year’s summer sale)
Last word….. One last shot at justification! I’m a big believer in the best wardrobe is the one where you love everything in it. The wardrobe that’s you and not the latest ad in Vogue. As I list what I’m wearing in the above photos, it becomes evident to me that I practice what I preach when it comes to slow fashion and truly keep and love the things in my wardrobe. From the jumper I bought 12 years ago to the fab pony hair leopard boots I picked up for $35 in this summer’s Zara sale! This little Kate gem looks great with these pieces that stand the test of time in my wardrobe. There….justification….surely it’s a keeper!